It's been a couple weeks since I've updated this blog, man time sure does get away from me. We're constantly going going going.
Cashy has been doing really well these last couple weeks. He's adjusting we'll to the oil again, he's been wanting to leave the house quit often, "go with daddy," he says. He's all about getting in the van or dads truck and going for a ride. He started this new obsession with wanting to go to the gas station for a "bug juice" (they are these awful sugary drinks for kids in a little bottle with a lid that can close and open), im not sure where this came about but thank god he doesn't even drink them at all (talk about growing cancer) he just insists on going and getting one, but he doesn't even Take a sip of them. So now we have bug juice bottles all over the house. Yuck. But anything for our cashy! He's spoiled rotten.
The other day he insisted that mike take him to Walmart, he picked out a CArs racetrack toy that cost like 40 bucks and he only played with it for a few minutes. I swear! You can't say no to that child, or it's a complete shit show! Ohwell, I'd buy him the whole damn toys R us store if I could!
Well last week I kept asking him what he wanted to be for Halloween and he would yell and me and say, No! So I didn't push the issue, if he wanted a costume I'd get him one. Well last minute on Halloween he decided he wanted a costume and NOW, and he wanted to be BUzz lightyear and he wanted to get Candy!! So mike dropped me and sissy off at Coltys school Halloween parade and he took him to the Halloween store and all that was left was a 12-18 month buzz lightyear. He's so tiny that it actually fit him, it was a little high watered on the legs though. So he dressed up that evening and we took him and sissy to 4 houses until he said he wanted to go home, he got out and walked up to each house and said trick of treat, and got his candy. He was so dang cute!! Sissy too! Brother colty took off with the neighbors and tore up the neighborhood.
Halloween is my birthday (the big 3-0 this year, ahhh, I don't want to say that to loud) so after the trick or treating, mike and I and a bunch of our friends went out on the town. We will just say we all had a little to much fun that night, and we weren't feeling so hot the next day! ;). I had to work that next night too! It was a long night!
Cashy is still stuffy but now he's got the green bloody tinged boogers, and it's been a month since the stuffyness started. His pediatrician seems to think its his tumor growing, but I know it's a sinus infection, so we are trying out some antibiotics with the hopes that it will clear things up and not hurt his stomach to bad now that we have his stomach back on track. It seems like once you get one thing under control something else backfires and reverses everything you've done. He started rubbing his cheek last week where his sinus's hurt and hd rubbed it raw and now ix continuing to pick sf his face, non stop, so he has three little scabs on his cheek that won't heal because hE keeps picking the scabs off. I'm ready to put socks over his hands and tape them! if his sinus's don't clear up, then dr Randall will put in a referral for a visit with an ENT (ear nose and throat doctor) for "comfort measures" Consult. I don't like those words, they make me think of death and dying. He's comfortable right now, so that's not a problem, he's just stuffy. We're staying as positive as we can. Nothing can bring our spirits down, even though sometimes I just wanna break down and cry and say why cashy, why Cant colty just have a little brother that wants to play and run around, what About Catherine, will she get to grow old with her big brother? It's not fair, and frankly it's heart breaking to think about even. But how much more can your heart break when it's already broken into a million pieces? I try not to do that pitty party stuff to much though because negative thinking doesn't get anyone anywhere. It's easy to get side tracked and think of the doom and gloom, but you just can't do that when your fighting cancer. You can't. You have to keep your head up, a smile on your face, and tAke each day like its a blessing from god. Which it really is.
Sometimes I wonder why there is so much pain in this world? Why do kids have to suffer like this? The average family doesn't even know what this kind of pain even feels like, not even the slightest, and I hope none of you ever do.
Cashy is so funny with how he lets us do his daily routine/cares. He delegates things to everyone on his own terms, no set way or person. If mike or I go to give him his meds, well he wants the other person to do it. Same with diaper changes and tube feedings. He will say brother do it, sissy do it, and yes even the dog irey do it. The other day I had to have irey help us change his poopy diaper. It was very interesting but we got it done! Lol. The other night cashy was insisting that Mike bring him a glass of water, but he had to hand it to me first then I had to hand it to him. He's so goofy I swear. Thank god we have each other to help out, because it gets exhausting! All the demanding, it's tiring on a person!
The last three nights cashy has insisted on going to sleep in brothers bunk bed with him. It's so cute! They're all cuddled up together. He stays in there until about 3 am then he's ready to come back to "moms and dads bed".
He still fights us really hard on the tube feedings, but he's getting a little more tolerable with it. Oh and another great thing.....no vomiting In about a month!!!! Well except for one time when his tube feeding got pushed in way to fast, he threw it up, but no morning vomiting which is always a sign of the tumor. His eyes are still looking good too. Once this sinus infection clears up I'm positive he will start being on the move again. He' is up and walking around more often than he was so that's Always a good sign too.
Mike and colty have been out hunting hear an there, mikes been dealing with his truck, I swear it's one thing after another with that thing. My bestie Janess came up from Phoenix for my birthday weekend and my mom threw me a dirty thirty birthday party up at a cabin on seely lake there was 9 of us ladies and we had a friggin blast, such a blast that we were all asleep by 1 am. Lol. Baby Catherine joined us and got held and passed around all night. It was a good time, thanks mom for throwing me a blast of a party, even though I'm an old lady now and thank you janessy for flying all the way to celebrate! We even got a cashy inspired best friends tattoo!
I started doing Bikram hot yoga this weekend! If you don't know what it is, if is a 90 minute yoga class in a 105 degree temperature room, it's effin hard, but it was so relaxing (after I got past the part of nearly passing out from heat exhaustion, lol) such a god workout though!! I am still sore from the few times that I've gone, gonna go again when I get up today!! I love it!' It's so relaxing and really puts your mind at ease for those 90 minutes and you walk out a fresh yet sweaty person ready to take on the day!
So This is our third holiday season fighting cancer! Three years now about! We're excited to actually have Christmas at home this year! No smelly hospital or tiny Ronald McDonald house room, our own house!!! How exciting! I'm totally going to play the elf on the shelf game with the kids this year! Last year it wouldn't of been very easy to hide the elf in our little Ronald McDonald house room. So this year it's on! The kids will love it! Ill need some ideas ladies on where and what to do with this elf! I still need to pick one up! Lol.
Well I've probably missed some things but I'm working in the NICU watching a whole slew of monitors In case the babies do something naughty with their vital signs. Not a fun job to do for 12 hours, ugh. So boring and the beeping is driving me crazy. Its actually like a bad flashback of the PICU days with Cashy. Sitting watching the monitor and hesitating and having your heart sink at every beep you hear. God I hated those days!
Well everyone hAve a nice Wednesday!! Soon I will be sleeping! Thanks for all your continued support and prayers everyone, we couldn't do it without you guys!! One love!