Thursday, October 4, 2012

Every day is beautiful!

Well it's now been over two months since we found out Cashys cancer has returned and 3 months since he started showing symptoms again. Each and every day with our buddy is a challenge but a beautiful blessing at that.
Not much has changed in the last week since the last update although we have changed some things in his daily routine and his eyes are looking better than they were when he was on the DCA.
Since removing cash from the DCA he has shown a slight improvement, he's been awake more for longer times and his rapid eye movements have lessened. His vomiting is still present but less often and we haven't fully figured out when it's gonna happen, it's totally random, but mostly in an when he first wakes, (which is one symptom of a brain tumor, morning vomiting). He threw up this am, but once again I was able to pull out a playdough bucket that was near and catch it all, lol (our poor bed, I swear I'm changing sheets every other day, sometimes twice in twenty four hours). Cash has been giving mike and I an extremely hard time when it comes to hooking up his feeding tube and pump at night on continuous feeds. He fights it so hard and if literally takes us grown adults to hold him down to hook it up, then it's the battle of keeping it in because he's smart and knows how to unlock it and unhook it. Last night he was pulling on his gtube so hard that it was almost pulled out of his tummy completely. And if anyone knows how gtubes work there is a balloon that is blown up after being inserted thy holds it in place, he almost had the whole thing out. We literally had to hold him down and put a small T-shirt over his belly and tape it around so it covered it so he couldn't pull it, that lasted only ten minutes and it was off, finally he gave up and went to sleep. Ugh. That fiasco took nearly an hour but he stayed hooked all night.
We purchased a vitamix blender, (that thing is effin awesome!) so now during the day we blend up every meal that we cook and I add a bunch of high calorie high fat items, to it and then we Just squirt 60cc of the mix in him at once, about every hour he'd gets full syringe along with his fresh veggie juice. This am I'm mixed up scrambled eggs, toast, hemp protein powder, hemp oil, flax oil, yougurt and almond milk, mixed it up and pumped him full of it! You could literally grind up a whole steak in that thing if you wanted, we don't eat meat, but you could basically grind anything up you want. It's so easy and since he's not eating a single morsel it's the best way to get wholesome food in him, then at night he gets the tube feedings on continuous. He's maintaining his weight, he hasn't lost any, even though he looks like a little skeleton.
This morning about 4 am when the boys got up to go hunting (yes hunting again), Cashy woke up and was in the best mood, laughing and giggling. I love to hear his laugh, it vibrates through my whole body and Just resonates good vibes! I love it. His laughter is becoming less and less so when we hear it, it's just amazing and makes you feel so good.
Lately he loves for me to lay with him and hold his hand. I love this, his little hand in mine, it feels so right. I wish I never had to let it go.
I know everyone struggles day to say with their own lives, children, bills, work, school, etc. I know how the simplest of things can seem important, and sometimes you overlook the important things by worrying about the little things. Well when you have a child sick with a debilitating disease like cancer, you tend to push away those little things and only worry about the major things. With that said, Ive been struggling with a friends post on Facebook last week. I Wong name names but if you read this youll know who you are, and know that I love you girl......but she posted this long post about how her 3 1/2 year old is having major issues with obeying and listening and that he is Totally out of control and won't listen to her for nothing if she sends him to his room he's jumping off dressers into his bed, etc. She also said that she went and saw her doctor so she could get medication so she can tolerate even being around her son?!!??.....seriously Hun, do you know what I would GIVE to have Cashy acting like a little asshole and running around jumping off dressers and yelling and screaming!! To need medication to numb your reality of your happy luff and your healthy kid, well it's appalling. And I'm hurt that you would even go to that extent, to medicate with prescriptions. There's much better ways to cope! Believe me! Sorry if this offends you hun, but it's been bothering me. Some advice for you as well, look into what your feeding him, sometimes certain foods can cause kids to act out, there's dyes in processed foods that can literally alter behaviors. Start looking there. But get off the meds. Enjoy your rowdy wild boy, you never know what could happen tomorrow or the next. Tomorrow is never promised for anyone. when Colten was three he was the same way, we actually got banned from ever playing with a good friends little daughter who was 9 months older than colty because he was to wild. It's just a 3 year old boy thing, trust me.
Mike and I were able to attend the pearl jam concert on Sunday! We didn't have tickets and either did our friends so we decided to try and find a scalper, by the grace of god we did but all four seats were in diffrent sections, lol...we all managed to squeeze into a spot! It was so much fun and was nice to get away for a few hours and Just jam to some music! Thanks Brooke and Casey for coming with us!

So we're just still going day to day, hoping and praying for our miracle again. I do know one thing, if it wasn't for the oil Cashy is on, he wouldnt be here, he wouldn't be comfortable like he is, and most likely he'd Be on a morphine drip trying to control his pain, but he's not! He's comfortable, happy for the most part and is still enjoying going to Walmart for a quick grab of some playdough, markers or cars. Lately it's a big cars movie kick again. He actually sat up and watched the whole movie cars yesterday. Usually it hurts his eyes to watch tv very long but he did it! I'm pretty sure were on the right track to killing this tumor. Three months since this tumor has returned, basically it should be huge by now, and I know it isn't! we're gonna fix you Cashy! Just keep being that super Cashy that we know and soon it will all be a bad nightmare! Brain tumors are complicated and breaking that blood brain Barrier is hard to do, so with that said we can't expect this tumor to be gone over night, it's a process and mild and I are pretty much on our own protocol for this one. We're changing the world guys! We are! Just you all wait and see, soon no child will have to suffer this way again!
Thanks for the pizza last night Tammy! Your such a sweet lady! Thanks again! And thank you everyone for the continued love and support! We love you all!


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  2. What a wonderful essay. It made me think of my own sons. Thank you for sharing every single thing you said.